How BIG Did You Say It Was?

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve had time to post anything here.

I’ve had a busy few weeks: did a load more decorating and finally finished our new office which looks awesome.

The end of our local hockey season coincided with the end of our local team. The owners sold it to a group who are MOVING it out of town, which truly sucks. There’s a good chance that we won’t have a decent league here next year. What to do?

It also means that we probably won’t be billeting anymore so thank goodness I have the Bed and Breakfast business going otherwise it would leave an even bigger void in our lives.

Predictably I caved in and let the team have their final big party here. I said NO three times – more even:
NO! I just redecorated
NO! We have hosted way more than our fair share of parties for the team
NO! I cannot bear the idea of cleaning up puke,
and NO! I am at dinner right now and won’t be home til after 9 oclock.

In the end the guys had nowhere to go so we had another drink and decided that someone had to step up. GAH.

Unpredictably it turned out to be a fantastic evening and gave Jim and I the chance to say goodbye to the guys…many of whom we will never see again 😦

It was a bittersweet farewell to Brandon last Wednesday. He has been living with us for two years now. Now he is off to join the Philadelphia Flyers, and we’re so proud of him. [Miss him though]

I’m taking cake decorating classes.  I’ve got a frikken 100  cake cupcake tower to make for the wedding of the year (Stacy and Craig, not Will and Kate) so I decided I needed to get some professional technique tips. It’s a lot of fun and I have another 10 classes to go through to the end of May.

Anyways, we had the father and brother in laws over for prime rib dinner on Sunday night and while I was cooking/baking I was watching the programme on television about Hoarders.

I find it freakily fascinating. [especially since I know one personally]

The inlaws  arrived and I turned the telly down, not off. And the weirdest thing kept happening. I was sure I heard “huge penis”.

Then a little while later when I went to get something from the fridge I am absolutely positive I heard “gigantic penis”…and then “huge schlong”.

I went to investigate, as you do.

Sure enough, there was a programme on called “Strange Sex” and it was about a guy with a giant cock.

I told my brother in law about the programme, and how I’d thought I’d been mis-hearing things and we had a little chuckle. [ha ha]

So then we had dinner, and the fabulous berry tart, and we were sitting in the lounge chatting about golf and hockey and the elections.

Mark, the brother in law, was fascinated by our Peruvian Rain Stick, and was showing it to the father in law. It’s a beautiful object which we bought in Hawaii.

I was pottering around in the kitchen clearing stuff away and there it was again: the programme about the huge penis! [got to love high rotate sometimes!]

I called Mark in to see – cos I’m sure he thought I was making it up.

“Yeah but who SAYS it’s huge –  did they actually SHOW it?” yelled hubby from the lounge just at the very moment when the announcer said “his penis is 13 and a half inches long and 8 inches round”


Mark came into the kitchen waving the rain stick.  Schtick. “You must have a tape measure…” he said
I got out my tape measure.

Let me say just one thing: that guy did not have a huge penis…he had a freakin WEAPON.

[crosses legs]

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