Holey Moley

I like animals.

I do!
I have 2 dogs and 4 ferrets.

There are some creatures I cannot abide though and I am plagued right now.

We have our annual mozzie-fest going on. They’re insane this year – swarming.

I love bugs, spiders and creepy crawlies but my insect-friendliness runs right out when I see a mozzie.

Jim keeps opening the patio doors and blames the dog for opening the screen doors.

Consequently I am covered in bites. I’m slathering aloe vera gel and “OFF” all over myself.


My bedroom looks like a CSI crime scene – my blood is smeared on the walls and has STAINED the frikken ceiling.


[ And btw, we know it’s my blood because Jim never gets bitten if I am around]

Now we have a mole in the front yard. He started round the edges and now is working his way industriously to the center.

So we have big piles of dirt – BIG PILES – in the middle of our lawn.

OUR lawn.

Not the neighbors.

Just ours.

My neighbor (the one with the hairy back) had a mole in his yard 2 summers ago.

He told me he had to get the mole guy in to get rid of it and it cost him the thick end of 200 bucks.

I said to Jim “I am going to call the mole guy”

“No wait” he said, “I think I killed it”

Apparently he’d seen the little fugger digging the previous day and had stomped it.

“If there’s no fresh digging, it means I got him” he reckoned

But sadly, the following day there was evidence of fresh digging.


I said to Jim “I’m going to call the mole guy”

“No” he said “Check it out on the internet first”


So I Googled “Mole Eradication” and found a couple of exterminators and many, many dermatologists.

Moles are interesting, tenacious, and insanely tricky to get rid of.

  • They have covered eyes (blind)
  • Their diet consists mainly of worms
  • Their saliva is toxic and they immobilize worms and store them
  • They taste disgusting so have no natural predators

Eradication usually involves trapping. Trapping really needs to be done by experts.

The mole has such a great sense of smell that if a human so much as TOUCHES a trap, they’ll smell it and be repelled.

Additionally and annoyingly, they appear to be quite smart because apparently if a mole ESCAPES from being trapped they’ll cop onto it and never ever go near another trap again.

Seriously WTF.

So I told Jim of my research findings and he said

“Call the mole guy”

So the mole man is coming to set traps. He will check the traps and remove the moles and we’re covered by a 12 month contract.


I’ve got a very cool little hide-out at my house. Few know about it.

It’s a little balcony off our office and it’s covered in and sheltered and very private.

I painted it bright orange and put in a fan and mozzie netting and it will be just perfect when it stops raining.

So Jim was out there last night and he says “Cool”

“What’s cool” I asked

“We’ve got bats” he said




Are you frikken KIDDING me?

We’re plagued by Mosquitoes, Moles and now BATS!

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