Here Comes the [bloody] Bride

I love my cake business. Best thing I ever did – it really satisfies my creativity and it’s so much fun and so rewarding seeing people genuinely enjoy the results of my labours.  I’ve met some great people and made some good friends through my baking too.

I genuinely thought that getting wedding cake commissions would mean I had arrived…made it…reached the pinnacle of custom cakery….

WRONG
WRONG
WRONG

The truth is that I would not lose a single wink of sleep if I never did another wedding cake ever again.

If there are any of my brides reading this:
Stacy – no honey, you were never a bridezilla

Sylvia – you were a dream to work with

Anyone who was having a 2nd wedding was cool

The first conversation with the bride to be goes:
“How much do you charge for a wedding cake?”

I’ve trained myself to take the deep breath and moderate my pissy tone when I answer, ever so nicely

“Well that depends on how many people you’re having at your wedding and what kind of cake, fillings and decorations you’re looking for”

Do you want this:

Or this?????

I can almost lay money on the next bridal utterance being:
“Well I haven’t decided yet on whether to have a cake or cupcakes. What do you think?”

SERIOUSLY????

I answer “well, it’s over to you. Cupcakes are very popular cos they’re easy to eat. You can choose different flavours and decorations. Blah blah de blah….[help me here goddamit!] What’s your theme and colour scheme? Do you have any pictures of cakes or cupcakes you really love?”

I think “God save me from all brides”

When we settle on a style it becomes evident that an area of potential SAVING in the giant money pit of the wedding is the frikken CAKE.

The cake becomes a necessary evil. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

By the time they get to me they’re in a state of complete sticker shock. Everything has cost more than they ever thought and there are a gazillion things  that they hadn’t thought about when they started the wedding planning.

So by the time they’re talking fondant confectionery, they’ve become a nervy, indecisive flake on a serious budget.

The secret ingredient in my cakes is love…but I’ve come to dread the wedding ones.

And I will always love the wedding cakes I’ve made for the people I love.

2 thoughts

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